Oh, before I start this post! Junsu is dam hot!! I'm downloading their Japan 4th Live Tour and I can't wait to be finished!
After writing my previous blogs, most of friends told me that they missed the old me. I was a humourous people who had lots of jokes in me. I constantly talk pervert jokes and curst nearly everything and everyday.
After I came to Miri, I kinda lost it. Part of it because there is cultural shock and I am in a Christian group which I couldn't find friends that have similar personality with me which causes my humour fades away.
Bible truely changed my life drastically. It is partly because my conscious hits me badly that I changed to current me. I had made myself follow the rule and isolate myself because I know I will say the things I shouldn't say!
But... I really miss the old me. Wendy once told me that I changed a lot and she misses the old me. We talks about everything and gossip about everything but she said I changed to become more "holy".
Laywee once told me that I became so much quieter compare to last time. I don't talk vulgarities often and lack of funny jokes came out from me. Whenever we are yamcha-ing, I'm not the one who do the talking anymore, but he was the one who do all the talking.
However, Tony told me that I didn't change at all! He said I still talk like the same! I'm sure he is not an observant person. No iPhone for you!
I lost my own identity and I desperately wanted to go back to before I came to Miri. That's the me I'm enjoying myself to the fullest. To be honest, I don't like Miri and I don't suit here. I still prefer to stick with my original friends who have the most naive-est mind but could speak the funniest and pervert-est things. I don't think it's cultural shock but I think I'm not willing to grow up to learn to adapt people. I am so protected and adapted to my circle and life and I'm still not willing to give in to the new life because I know this new life is not permanent to me.
I'm seriously missing them badly. I'm thinking to switch myself to bad side again.
What's holding me back? Christianity....
I'm such a dilemma! I'm in love with the religion but I'm not willing to change myself to that way. Should I go back to start with my BoobieLogy again?
I seriously wish to go back the old BoobieLogy me that always fills myself with boobs and butts of females and males. Using those materials, I could create pervert jokes and talk irrelevant and funny jokes to my friends. Also, I wish I could talk fuck and diu whenever I want. But... All I wanted is to go back to them and treasure everyone of them from now onwards cause I finally understand the importance having a cliques which I am so comfortable.
Mom, can you send me back to KL? I'm dam homesick edi...