y am i being so emo?

yesterday, my sister called me they received a letter from metropolitan college, they thought the results was released.. but it was just a letter that call us to enroll for the next semester.. when i heard that they received a letter from metropolitan college, my heart was pounding rapidly although i know the results is released through the net..

i had been so pressured on my results, i dunno how badly will i do for my law... my heart is just constantly get nervous when i c anything related with law.. i fukingly hate this kind of feeling.. my results will be releasing this wednesday, i dun wan to face it seriously.. i just don't want to drag my christmas mood and my singapore trip if i fail any of the subjects. if i fail the freaking subject, i have to take up 2 subject during my summer course and i will definitely get punished by not going out oftenly with my friends.. i will be locking myself at home reading everyday and pressuring myself like i'm in secondary school. sometimes i just felt like going back to my secondary school where i was so hardworking. now, i've been exposing myself to this colourful world and i cant take this distraction well. i've been going out more, i've been spending less quality times with my family, my mom is pissed when i'm going out in the morning n going home late at night, i've been spending like water..

am i changing? yeah, i do think i'm changing but in a bad way. i know i've been speaking more vulgar words and being rude than i had expected after my finals. my personality had been changing.. i speak is less patient tone with my family, i started to lose patient on everything, i started to get nervous when something is going wrong. i'm on my way to break down soon.. maybe that's why i wanna stay with my friends more than my family.. i love spending time with friends coz that's the time you could forget every nervousness and you don't have to think much before you speak..

all of these is just becoz i cant handle stress well.
i could break down very easily..
i'm dam emotional when things doesn't go my way.
i'm way more weaker than i had expected.
i'm too pampered at home.
i'm just living in a good dam life and i dunno how to appreciate wit wat i had.
i'm just complaining my whole dam life.
i'm just living in life full of regrets.

don't get worry about me.. i'm okay.. i just getting sudden emotional.. exam results will be released way too soon. i'm stressing myself out way too much. god, i'm so stress..