I shouldn't know...

"This year i had fallen in love..
it's been 2 years i nvr ever fall in love so deeply for a person..
it hurts coz i dunno how does he feel..
it hurts coz he's too stupid to know that i like him..
it hurts coz i dun have courage to confess to him..
it hurts coz i dunno how does my heart wants to go.."

This is what I had written on 27 December 2007. It happened so fast that I liked this guy 1 year before. I actually don't like him after I found Junsu in my life, I had totally concentrated on Junsu since then... wtf

But after Christmas eve, this person comes back to haunt me again. I knew something I should know 1 year before, but I knew this after a year.

After I knew it, it actually is in my head till now, I still couldn't get him out of my brain. It is a regret that I didn't start the relationship with him. I wish I know the things I should know one year before but not after one year.

Why I can't put him out of my mind?
Do I still have him in my heart?
Do I still love him?
I don't know ...